||[Feb. 14, 2007 ~ 8:25pm]
Happy Valentine's Day.
Hope everyone's day was better than mine.
|Life's getting better
||[Dec. 28, 2006 ~ 6:42pm]
Life is getting better.
My birthday was absolutely amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better day.
The cruise was really fun. This winter break is one I'll never forget.
Ben & I are, once again, on speaking terms. We've been talking a lot...and honestly, I like that. I missed talking to him. We talk about everything & nothing. It's great.
Of course I've been stressed out with all of this AP History work. But other than that, things are great.
Less than a week & we're back to school. =[
||[Dec. 04, 2006 ~ 5:12am]
It's been awhile since I've posted. A lot has happened...most of which I'm not willing to talk about.
99x-mas ball was on Friday. It was a totally kick ass concert. One of the best I've ever been to. Nonpoint, Flyleaf, Three Days Grace, Stone Sour, & Disturbed are amazing. I absolutely love Stone Sour & Disturbed now. I've always been a fan of Flyleaf & Three Days Grace. Nonpoint is growing on me. But yeah, it was an amazing show. Totally worth it.
12 days until my 17th birthday!!!!!
|bordom baby, bordom
||[Nov. 15, 2006 ~ 11:23pm]
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
i fell off the bunk on a cruise ship.
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
paint, posters, bulletin board, i love math sign =]
3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
red razr. =D
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO?
everything. depends on my mood.
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
my camera & my guitars.
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
victoria's secret purfume.
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
A&F cologne & purfume...and endless love from victoria's secret.
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE ?
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
i don't know. i don't know if that will ever happen to me.
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
energy drinks, baby. red bull...red bull...& monster!
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPINGS?
extra cheese!! hehe.
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
mr. v...but i deserved it.
20. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
not fluently...but i know french & ASL.
21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE :
22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
pretty much anything.
25. WHAT`s YOUR DREAM CAR?
27. WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR DREAMS?
to be successful in life.
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
31. S OR S?
32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN?
hmmm...alyssa. But texting wise...mervee, alicia, and dora.
33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
people who interrupt me.
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE US?
35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
ben. i'm serious.
36. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?
new jersey or new york. but i think i could settle with florida.
37. FIRST JOB?
38. Ever made a prank call?
39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
because i needed a break from homework.
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
go ice skating or go to hooters.
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
one. maybe two.
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
today. pre-calculus is stressful!
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
i don't know.
55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
yeah. who hasn't?
56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
not at all.
59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
nope nope nope.
61. WHAT ARE THE FIRST THREE NUMBERS IN YOUR CELL NUMBER?
823. [the same as danielle's!!]
62. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK AS A CHILD?
any dr. suess book.
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
70. WHAT`S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
chocolate peanut butter.
73. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
all of them...but i'm getting them out.
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
77. LAST THING YOU ATE?
chocolate. i've been craving it.
80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
hmmm...there's a lot. one is "the sunscreen song" =]
81. FAVORITE THING TO DISLIKE?
82. FAVORITE DRINK?
coca cola, baby.
83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN?
84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
field hockey & hockey & football.
87. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
89. FAVORITE MONTH?
90. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
95. KISSES OR HUGS?
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
97. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
99. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
"A Million Little Pieces"
100. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
||[Nov. 05, 2006 ~ 7:50pm]
I hate work. Working at McDonalds is not for me. I agree with Mervee. I should work at a bookstore. It fits my personality more. Everytime I see a McDonalds commercial I want to shoot myself. =[
||[Nov. 01, 2006 ~ 7:49pm]
I love my life.
I talked to Ben again today. It was like our first "real" conversation in like 5 months. It meant a lot to me. I love that kid.
I have a 100% in Pre-Calculus. I got a 100% on my test. Yayy.
I got a job at McDonalds.
So yeah. My life rocks.
||[Oct. 17, 2006 ~ 11:45pm]
I fucking hate school right now. Everything sucks. In CAD, I can't seem to do anything right. Mervee says I'm doing a good job, but I'm struggling like crazy. It takes me twice as long to do everything, because I'm so damn stupid. And ASL is one big joke. For 2 weeks we haven't done shit, except watch stupid movies...and now our "teacher" wants us to watch these videos about sign language....AND THEY'RE ALL WRONG! I think it's signed english...not ASL. And there's no structure to the damn movies...we learned "baby" and "piano" at the same time. And apparently the alphabet is a, b, c, d, e, o, k. Yeah. I got a fucking 89% in AP History...an 89!!! One fucking point away from an A...and it's all because my essays suck. I get a B on every essay...and now I know why. Our essays are compared to Abid's. And honestly, I'll never be as good as him...and it just sucks that this is happening. I honestly don't know why I try so damn hard. Pre-Calculus...ehh, it's okay. I'm getting better, but I still feel like a failure. French is easy, whatever. I got a 265/230 on the test...highest grade, biiitch!! Haha. Niice. Chemistry...err, fuck Chemistry! I'm a complete failure in that class. AP English...oh, I just rock in that class!!!!! No problems for me there. ;]
Life sucks. I feel like giving up. But I have so much to live for, even though I don't see it right now.
ps. I think I may be in a relationship soon!! <33
|End of 1st Quarter
||[Oct. 14, 2006 ~ 12:38pm]
The first quarter is finally over. It's been pretty crazy, actually. Everyone told me my Junior year would be my hardest year, but I didn't think it would be this hard. I expected all the homework/school work...but I didn't expect everything else. But I guess I couldn't have expected that. My favorite teacher left before school even started & I lost my best friend/boyfriend at the end of last year. That just put a huge hinder on this year. And then, Ms. Munoz leaves. Also, I get more homework than I can handle...I'm up until 1-2 in the morning (and on Thursday night, until 3 AM Friday morning) doing homework. It's crazy. I don't have time to do anything except for homework. I wanted to play soccer this year, but nope, I can't. I'm the president of Math League, which also takes up a lot of time. I'm finally getting better at math, but it's such a damn struggle. I'm after school every day getting help in Pre-Calculus & then doing my homework for that class. I get home between 4:30-5 PM...depending on the day. And then, I like this person, they like me...they want to go out with me...but I'm scared because this person has cheated on all of their girlfriends. And I don't think I could take that if it happened to me...again. I'm still not over Ben, but I don't know what to do about it. He talks about me a lot (from what I've heard) but I don't think he wants to be my friend. I don't want to go out with him again (okay, maybe I do), but I really want to be his friend.
Well, at least the 1st quarter is over. Maybe things will get better...maybe not. But I can always hope.
|I don't get it
||[Sep. 30, 2006 ~ 11:22pm]
I'm trying to remain strong...because people depend on my strength. But it's starting to get so damn hard. I feel like breaking down. Well, I already did on Monday. I was trying to keep everyone else happy...but I couldn't even make myself happy. And now, I'm trying to remain strong for everyone else...but I'm slowly breaking down. This is all a mental thing...I know, I know. And I need to keep telling myself to "stay strong" and to "hang in there." But I don't know if I can anymore. I'm always there for everyone else...and now, I just wish someone could be there for me. Everything is starting to take it's toll on me...school, not being able to get a job, family, home life...just everything. It seems as if I can't do anything right anymore. I'm not suicidal or anything...I'm just on the verge of a huge mental breakdown. And I think the one thing that's going to push me over the edge is wednesday...when Ms. Munoz leaves. I think during/after 2nd period I'm going to break. It's inevitable...so I guess there's no reason for me to try and stop it. I might as well accept it and hopefully I can move forward after it all.
|I can't believe it
||[Sep. 25, 2006 ~ 10:07pm]
I can't believe she's leaving. I don't want to believe it. It's such a shock. I can't stop crying. I'm so flippin depressed to the point I swear I'm suicidal. I can't look at anything in a positive way. I feel like giving up....